I knew her as a makeup artist but she used to model too, so naturally I asked her to get in front of my camera. The location I selected had this huge some kinda tree that I could easily climb up and have fun with, and I thought I’d want my model up there too. She told me she was afraid of hight big time. I don’t know (or rather I didn’t want to think) if that was a truth or not, but I was like, “Sure, you can do. Don’t worry, it won’t break. See?”, and I showed her how steady that tree branch was by performing my funky tree dance up there. In retrospect, I often paid little regards to what my models said, especially when I knew what I wanted, as well as if/when I thought what they were saying had no good reason or whatever, but of course I acted as if I did care. Although I know I push it in a very graceful manner, I could still come off as a pushy photographer. I am very comedic when I photograph a group of people, and I do really well with even bigger group because then I know I could scream out to them like, “Come on! People! Let’s move. come-on! come-one! come-on!”, and of course with a big-o-smile on my face and kid-like voice. (I always envious of a man with a low, sexy voice, but that’s a whole different story) So, large group of people tend to follow my request/demand because I approach them in Jim Carrey style of body language and humor. But when I am dealing with only few people, especially one model with my personal project, I sometimes get impatient. Still, I maintain happy Kenji style during the session, I could feel I get edgy and short and very demanding and bossy with my model.
She told me she was afraid of hight but she was such a good sport, she went up and stayed up and tried working with me in spite of her fear of hight. I look back now, and I took it so lightly for what she did for me. I ran into her in a grocery store this evening and I had to thank her for that. I had to watch myself. I had to watch what I think and feel when others express how they feel about certain things.
Was I being a forceful and demanding in the name of Art? or was I just simply a mean and selfish dick that could care so little about others?
